You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
