Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
