They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Text me some of your sweat
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
