super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
