I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
