yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
