I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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