on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
