I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
