Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
