Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize