yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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