She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize