Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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