So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
