The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's paint friendship bongs
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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