Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
