she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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