also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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