listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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