trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
