jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
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As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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