I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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