2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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