I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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