I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
