dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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