Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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