They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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