whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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