You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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