I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
