I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
