Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were trust falling into bushes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
