HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
