you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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