i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So vagazzling was a success
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize