I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
