I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
