i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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