It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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