You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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