she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
