He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize