he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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