My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
