People in love make me want to vomit
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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