Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize