It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we're making bets on your personal life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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