You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
