Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
