She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Your cock deserves a montage
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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