I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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