just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry my hands just texted you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.