you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(