her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.