Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
