I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
