AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
